Learning to be Taken in by the Moment

It is amazing what happens when you allow yourself to be taken in by the moment.  This afternoon was a perfect example of that.  For the last month, and for the next few weeks, we have been on summer vacation.  The boys are back home, relaxing, studying, continuing to develop their soccer skills to further humiliate me, along with other diversions.  Therefore, we have an empty Ciudad, and no responsibilities.  Yay!  After a few weeks of travel, I decided to use the final two weeks of break to reorganize my life and prepare myself in all ways for the start of what will appear to be a very busy year.  One such aspect of my life was the spiritual side.  In a place like Ciudad, some sort of spirituality/prayer/reflection is necessary.  Without it, you will get burned out, irritated, or, a favorite of mine, impatient.  I decided that developing a spiritual base outside of Ciudad would be healthy, especially since I already live, work, eat, etc... in Ciudad.  This, so far, has involved finding a parish in Lima and having a spiritual director who is unconnected with Ciudad.  Of course, I will have things that will challenge and develop my spirituality within the walls of Ciudad, such as a place to reflect, write, or pray daily.  I have yet to schedule a spiritual guidance appointment (but I have numbers!), but I have found my parish.  A 20 minute Combi ride (which I can pick up right outside the gates!) brings me to Nuestra Señora de la Paz in Villa El Salvador, an active and connected church, and a life-giving community.  What more does one need?!  

As I said, it is amazing what happens when your are taken in a moment.  Before mass last night at Nuestra Señora de la Paz I was looking out over the dusty landscape that is Villa El Salvador.  I was out, letting my eyes and mind flow wherever they choose.  Any one could have snuck up on me without my notice; that is what happened.  Before knowing, I felt the bar I was leaning on shake, only to discover that the person behind the movement was a 12 year old girl who immediately went into questioning me about anything and everything.  "Where are you from?", "What is your name?", "Do you know how to swim?" (there were two pools next to the school used for summer workshops, and we were close enough to the beach, so it was a pertinent question).  Then from there the discussion went from her questioning me to her divulging details of her life from her dislike of math (she was in a math workshop instead of the swimming one-that would cause many to resent a subject), what she liked to do for fun, her admiration of her math teacher, who, to her amusement, was in love with math (who knew?), and her admitting, denying, and admitting again that she cheated on tests.

I don't write this account merely because it is a fun tale, or that it was the start of a very life-giving night-but you may take it as such, if you desire, for there is truth in that.  I tell it because it was a humbling experience that reflects all of my failures of the last few months at Ciudad.  My ministry at Ciudad is very much a ministry of presence.  I work as a mentor for boys who, because of their backgrounds, put up walls between their history and those they encounter-especially the tall, awkward gringo, who, on very bright days blinds people because of his very pale skin (shows that I do wear sun screen, mom).  To accompany boys such as the ones I work with, one needs patience.  They wont let you into their lives, or even partially into their lives if you do not give yourself to them, break down any pedestals that you think you may stand on, and become humble.  And, after all that, you cannot make them come to you, only they can choose.  Get where patience comes in?  One of my failures of the past few months was that I was not patient; I assumed that if I was in the pabellón enough that eventually boys would be lining up to have my ear.   I imagine someone putting a stand out like Lucy's psychiatry stand from Peanuts would have more success than I had.  Henri Nouwen says that for a person engaged in ministry, the best they can do is admit their own brokenness, humble themselves, and bring them to equal levels as the people they are ministering to.  I am broken, you are broken, let us learn from one other and journey together.  To return to the story from last night, this 12 year old entered into my life when I was vulnerable.  I was lost in thought, I had put down all of my own walls, and she saw that.  Of course, she could have been an extremely extraverted girl who was curious about the new visitor to the parish.  But there is something in this.  I wasn't trying to be anyone; I wasn't acting in an authority position, I wasn't pretending to do something, I was just there, lost, present, open for anyone.  We shall see if it will have the same affect with the boys.  ¡Vamos a ver!  


paz, bien, y amor.  


Michael