Yesterday I realized that Lima was normal for me. I have known this for a while, but yesterday it hit me hard. Maybe this is because-sad to say-I have been thinking (or avoiding thinking) about returning to the States in February, and hence forth thinking about what is normal/ has been/ will be, etc... Normal is not perfect, it is not always what I want, it is not always something that I want to stay as is, but it is something that I experience and connect to my life here. Regardless, for me, as of yesterday, this was normality:
-The San Juan boys. I have been with them since February, and one since last September. They have been the main part of my ministry, life in Ciudad.
-All of the Ciudad boys.
-Joyful encounters with the boys
-Frustrating conversations with the boys
-Life-Giving conversations with the same boys
-Boys screeming Mikey! Hermano Mikey! Hermano Michael! HER-MA-NO MI-CH-AEL.... (Gracias Niño Jesús chicos)
-The volunteers, past and present. Laura, Ryan, Laura, Ben, Jeanette, Tania, Hannah, Harriet, Rosanna, Evie, Christoph, Jess, Jenn, Isabella, Sonja, Cossima, Jocelyn. Constant gratitudes to all of them.
-Did we really think of that? Are we going to do that? We are doing it.
-Prayer nights, turned into community nights, turned into CC-Time! (Cap Corps Time)
-Cake days
-Greeting from the tutors, staff, hermanos, mothers and fathers
-Hermana Vita: "Hermano Michael, you should really cut/comb your hair..."
-Coffee flowing. Healthy eating turned into cookie baking.
-Rice, potatoes, bread, and beans (still haven't put on weight)
-Mangos! Four for less than a dollar! Can't get better than that... but, wait, 4 avocados for less than a dollar! Paradise...
-The hills of Lima
-Poverty. Frustrating family lives.
-How did you spend your salida? Internet, television, more internet. Get a book to read!
-Alabanza songs and the constant urge to dance to them
-The craving for Ceviche, Anticuchos, Chicha Morada
-Crowded combis and the occasional and blessed empty one
-Stray dogs (don't even realize they are there these days)
-Overcast, cloudy skies. A white sheet tossed over Lima. Sun! Well, some cloud cover wouldn't hurt...
-Huayno music coming from the peñas outside of Ciudad
-A sense of removal
-A sense of belonging
-A sense of wanting to scream and leave
-A sense of only wanting to be there, in this place, in this beautiful moment
-A sense that the only thing I want to do is love
-A sense that that is not enough; a sense that that is exactly what this broken world needs
-Interior debates about the role of the Church in Lima, Peru, Latin America, the World
-Humility when I am told that God will judge me not on how I judge how others live out the gospel but on how I live out the gospel. Humility, to know that I do not know everything... far from knowing a lot... anger when I am certain that we are far removed from the gospel call to love. Peace of mind meeting people who live out this love no matter the challenges. You are inspirations, exemplars, challengers, and you make a doubting heart remember that the preferential option for the poor is still lived out here.
-Meeting people who name drop Gustavo Gutierrez. Being able to name drop him myself!
-Realizing that the theology of liberation is not something that is stuck in the past meant to be studied, but something that is being lived and changing every day. Astonishment that people my age are creators of their own theology of liberation.
-Being challenged to open myself up. Seeing the complexity and richness of the Catholic tradition. Realizing that I still have a lot more spiritual growing to do
-"Wait, wait, let's hold on a bit..." tell myself that too many times... is that bad?
-Wake up calls in the study hall
-Accomplishment when I can get and explain math
-Remorse that I have resigned to trying to understand chemistry
-Amazement that one day can produce joy, sadness, frustration, happiness, humor, stress, annoyance, a feeling of love, and a desire to want more.
This and so much more. I love this place. I have been changed by this place. And I am not ready to leave this place. Luckily I still have time.
paz, bien, y amor.
Michael
